paper aviator: current obsession

It is totally quaint - surprisingly strange that i am making detailed illustrations right now. I usually do not have patience with so much details, lines and shapes. I give up in the middle of it. Watercolour and I are not the best of friends but i guess it's not impossible for us to like each other, heh? I thought i couldn't really do it. But i am eating my words now (water please). I owe this to the non-stop practice i'm doing everyday even in the littlest amount of time (wee hours doesn't matter) i could freely grab. There are still so much to do and learn. Like capturing tiny flickering images while i'm on the process of making, leaving the current slate, getting another paper and throwing it in, getting another paper again and quickly making an outline of another idea that pours in and out non-stop. It's something i couldn't control sometimes. I think i'm going to have a headache if i wouldn't record any piece of idea that knocks in my cerebrum and regret i didn't even bother sketching as it haunts my consciousness for the next few hours. Which is a good thing, isn't?

I still do not understand a lot but I read somewhere that these things are supposed to be habitual. And i'm glad that it is becoming habitual to me. I do not know for how long, there is still the issue of uncertainty i am quite worried about, but i want to keep it going like a permanent thing. I may not be so much obsessed with patterns and details in the long run, but i don't mind as long as the spark goes on. Who knows, maybe i'll end up making stick drawings with splurges of paint and eggshells next hahah, but as long as my hours of doing art remain to be raw, pure, intimate and un-tethered then everything will be fine.

"For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream in the simple way as I dream about the black dots representing towns and villages on map."

~ Vincent Van Gogh, in a letter to his brother Theo (Ken Gire's Windows of the Soul, 1996)